i think i'm ggin crazy, i nid to keep myself sane from stopping to think. Neither do i nid to be pitied upon.
The day finally sums up in the manner of my life. End.
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Created at 1:46 pm
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I wish for.... all to be well again.
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Created at 1:12 pm
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FRIDAY | Friday, January 26, 2007
Day of Fri.
Wish i was spiderman.
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Created at 3:50 pm
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TV | Thursday, January 25, 2007
The tv was spoilt. I was banging it. it became clear, then it spoilt, then it became clear again, then it spoilt. Then i banged it again, refusing to bulge. I keep banging, i keep banging. I banged and banged till it hurts so badly and it worked, then it stopped to work. I banged with all my might, i banged with the pain, hoping it'll work again but it didnt.
Then i stopped banging. switched it off to let it cool. I thought of banging it again. But the show ended. The next time, it stops, should i bang it again?
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Created at 4:22 pm
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time | Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Last yr this time, i was it "was" happily buying dinner then then meeting at the src to see the HO opening. This yr, i had to resort to silently trying to find out if she's coming at all. So what id she's coming? I could have done nothing. Too many things, too many items, too many events, remind me the every single bit. Each time, i hold back, knowing everything else will nvr be the same again for now. It still come as a shock, its still a learning process. She deserves this to be simply bcoz shes still young, she has many options. I'm perhaps the wrong timing again.
Timing, the value of all essence, the importance of everything else.
Time, to prove everything rite and everything wrong.
Time to remember and the "been through" and the "memories" is all i have left.
It doesnt help to rem time is everything which in real fact is everything.
I'm a disgrace to myself, i lost my own dignity, my own pride to seek wad i deem to be the right thing. All i ever wanted was to make things right but i supposed that isnt the right thing to do now.
As all others said "Paul, what other choice do you have?" , "you have no choice" my heart skipped a beat the moment i heard that, the whole truth, the whole reality before i am shocked back into the real world. In the silence, the world revolved around me twice before i am woken from my dream. The atmosphere stunned for a moment where everything else in front and beside me moved so slowly i could touch the slowness where everyone moved and hold. At the very same time, my back faced the world knowing it will nvr stop behind me travelling at more than 150km/h that there's no way to turn ur head back. In the very case of the idealistic world, miracle is wad you need to turn back time, to turn back the hands of time, to turn back to face the world. No one wants to move into the past, that is y ur back will always face the past allowing you nvr to turn back, nvr to face it. For those who did, end up living their life to its lowest, losing everything which belonged to them. For it seems the most idealistic response is to keep walking. keep on walking till the day u realise u have no nid to turn back becoz there isnt a need to as long as u reach the finishing line. We all have a line to pass, the reality of time, the line where u think everything is there, realising everything else is just an image of false, searching frantically for the answers to no answers, the wall start crumbling, ur fear start to subside, the void in ur life gone, u start to stop thinking, you wake up, beside ur true form of life, the test if time, where u've been put through, the test of faith, the realisation of the meaning of living.
Waking up beside god? maybe not. Perhaps just a little hardship u endure through? Finally stopping to complain, to hate, to blame, to outdo, to fight. But start to love. The love that beats everything else in this ridicuously amazing world of flops. Amen.
God bless to all.
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Created at 10:08 pm
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The perfect song to suit the perfect scenario.
"Flames to dust Lovers to friends Why do all good things come to an end?"
Been crying my lungs out. one day 2 posts. Simply what it shows.
Time to work hard.
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Created at 1:11 am
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say | Monday, January 22, 2007
they say everything happens for a reason? realy? been in a daze. qns??? Wonder how much do i have to go thru this patch.
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Created at 12:46 pm
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Profile
Name: Paul Lee Age: 23 DOB: 20th Dec 1982 Email: gose21@hotmail.com (No Junk Please!)
I am very simple minded la. Loves to slack, have fun, sleeping and play games are my pasttime hobbies.
Highly ambitious but dunno whether if i can live up to my own expectations. Tend to be wary of people whom i dunno.
Sometimes super unfriendly, Lack things to talk to pp but can crap la but thats not a talent k. Now Mildly pessimistic.
I love cars, fast, sporty, wings, side skirts, carbon fibre, big 17" tyres. Whoohoo. Wish to own my own Ferrari one day.
Not model car k? ANy kind souls please. Hee. CHeers to all who read my blog. Thanks for looking. Haha :). Bleahz
Loves
Loves Myself
Loves all kinds of Cars
Loves to Slack
Loves Soccer
Loves to DAYdream
Nothing beats having good friends(Real gd friends)
